Script Annotation

Blue: Voice delivery (Volume, rate, pitch, pauses, pronunciation, dialect)

Pink: Actions and gestures 

Purple: Sounds and Lighting

Orange: Props needed in the scene (and how they will be used)

Green: Character Positions

Yellow: Stage directions

When we started creating the play, we decided to work on the epilogue. We wanted to show the audience main, key aspects of Martin's life, through flashbacks, and other drama techniques.

Script during initial stage:
Initially we had only jotted down some key scenes we wanted to include in the play, however we had still not devised the dialogues, entrances and exits, stage directions, make up, costumes, voice dialect, voice delivery, or actions or gestures yet.

This is the edited script:

CENTER STAGE Narrative Martin, Mark and Natalie sitting together. 

Narrative Martin: It was a time like no other, something was lost, something was found. I changed - inside and out. I grew. yeah… this was the story of how I went from the gang of three - to the gang of me. (Pointing to himself) 

Narrative Martin: You have to look beyond the face. To see the person true, deep down within my inner space, I am the same as you; I’ve counted since that fire burnt. The many lessons I have learnt. 

(SOUND) SCHOOL BELL

CLASSROOM SCENE

The students seem to get excited and begin packing up.

Teacher: Sit down! Sit down! Now, just because the bell has gone, doesn’t mean you can.

Past Martin: Ugh, seriously?

Mark: Killjoy.

Teacher: A quick word. Now, I want everyone to use this holiday time constructively. Don’t waste your time. And most importantly, stay safe.

Past Martin: Yeah, Mark!

The students begin to laugh.

Mark: Oh shut up.

Past Martin: You dare me to do it? [While pointing at a crunched piece of paper]

Mark: Yeah! 3, 2, 1!

Narrative Martin turns around irritatedly and is writing something on the board. Past Martin throws a paper ball at him. The students laugh again, more loudly.

Teacher: Who did that?!

Past Martin & Natalie: [Shouting and pointing at Mark] It was Mark!

Mark: [Pointing back] What?! No, it was Martin and Natalie!

Teacher: All of you, detention!

    Afterschool!

All: Ugh.

The students begin to laugh again and start to high-five each other, seeming unbothered by the punishment.

(EFFECT) FREEZE FRAME

Past Martin: You have to talk to me and not the skin that holds me in, I took the wisdom that I got. To make sure that I win: I’ve counted weaker folk than me, who look but truly cannot see. (Sincerly looking at the audience) 

Present Martin: I’ve seen compassion from the blind, who think with open eyes. It’s  those that judge me quick you’ll find are those that are unwise: Why judge the face that I have on, just value my opinion. 

Narrative Martin: Friends will come and friends will go. Now I need friends that feel. 

CAR SCENE

Mark, Pete and Past Martin move to the other side of the stage. Pete is sitting in a chair and the two very drunken boys are slowly making their way to the ‘car’. They are walking with their hands around each other for support.

(SOUND) DISTANT DISCO MUSIC

Past Martin: [Hiccuping in between words] And so I said… if you won’t watch me dance, Natalie, I will! [Laughs]

Mark: Bro, you’re white, you can’t dance!

Past Martin: Pssh, whatever. We should go home. Natalie’s probably waiting for me.

Mark: Wait… wasn’t Natalie in there with us? [Gestures to the Bassment]

Both look at each other and then start laughing ridiculously.

Mark: Woah! Check out that sweet ride! [Points to Pete’s car]

Pete: Hey boys. That you, Martin? Martin Turner? No way! It’s been so long my dude!

Past Martin: Peter? Bro!

Pete: Heard you two were looking for a ride back home?

Past Martin: Yeah. It’s like… [glances at palm of hand] thirteen o’clock. 

Pete: Get in, boys. We’re in for one heck of a ride.

Past Martin: Ohh yea!

Mark: Hey, I don’t think we shouldn’t do this… [nervously glances at Past Martin]

Past Martin: Don’t worry about it! It’s all good. Plus it’s a pretty sweet ride. 

Mark agrees. Both sit inside the car excitedly. 

(SOUND) TYRE SCREECHES & CAR CRASH

Past Martin: My friends have changes so much and now, I make sure they are real:

Narrative Martin: I took the ride and paid the price, I can’t afford to do that twice.

FACE REVEAL SCENE

Present Martin is on center stage, sitting on a chair, with a mirror faced down in his trembling hand. He wipes the sweat dripping from his forehead, and quickly brings the mirror aligned to his face. He stares at himself for a whole 3 seconds, before creating a raged, shocked, scared and frustrated emotion to his face. 

Narrative Martin walks on stage, and gives an immense shocked emotion as he encounters Present Martin. He walks up to him in rage. 

Narrative Martin: The whites of my eyes were -

Present Martin: Red.

Narrative Martin: My skin looked so rough -

Present Martin: So uneven.

Narrative Martin: Bright red in places, and there was - 

Present Martin: Brown, pinky-white

Narrative Martin: [Narrative Martin has his hands covering his eyes] The underneath was on top.

Present Martin: Veins showing through.

Narrative Martin: So swollen.

Present Martin: So blistered. 

Narrative Martin: [ruffling through present Martin’s hair] And my hair, at the top, at the front - 

Present Martin: Mostly gone - 

Narrative Martin: [furiously] Just patches. 

Present Martin: [fearfully] Like a doll…

Narrative Martin: …that had been in a fire. [massaging his temples] I remember thinking - 

Present Martin: Is that me?

Narrative Martin: And I thought.

Present Martin: [frightfully] Will it fall off? 

Narrative Martin: It seems stupid now.

Present Martin: Will my real face be underneath? 

Narrative Martin: And then, weird, I remember being in a plane on my way to Spain, looking down on mountains [louder voice, but still calm] from far, far above. [almost in low voice, depressed] That’s what my face looked like - 

Present Martin: A mountain.

Narrative Martin: [broken into flames of anger, with a harsh tone and voice, screaming at the top of his lungs] Rough, and raptured and jagged and sharp and solid. Not like skin, not like a face, [slowly calming the pitch and voice] not like me. [leaves the stage] 

Present Martin looks around afraid, searching for himself. And looking at the mirror one last time and thinking…

Present Martin: Not like me. 

Present Martin leaves the stage. 

Past Martin: I came to here from ignorance, I cannot call it bliss. 

Present Martin: And now I know the importance of loving me like this: 

Narrative Martin: To leave behind that backward state, of judging looks is very great. 

HOSPITAL SCENE

Mark, Natalie and Past Martin quickly move to the hospital setup. Past Martin is sitting in his hospital bed and Mark and Natalie are anxiously waiting outside his room.

Mark: Come on, Natalie. Let’s see him.

Natalie: I… don’t know, Mark. We should wait some more. Maybe he isn’t ready?

Mark pulls Natalie into the room, though Natalie is reluctant.

They enter the room. Mark is excited to greet Past Martin, but Natalie is quiet and avoids eye contact.

(SOUND) HEART RATE MONITOR 

Mark: Hey man! It’s been so long. I’ve missed you. [They shake hands] How are you doing? You’re looking better!

Past Martin: Hey man. It’s so nice to see you again. I’m doing good.

Mark: I’m really sorry about what happened, bro.

Past Martin: [Shaking head] No man, don’t worry about it, I’ve forgotten about all that. It’s in the past, you know?

Mark: Exactly, dude. You live and you learn. So… any plans of coming back to school? Don’t ditch on us!

Past Martin: I’ve got plans, don’t know if the doctors do, though. They’re keeping me locked up in here. [They laugh]

Mark: You’re still lucky. Your room looks pretty sweet! What channels do they have on TV? Is the food nice? Does a cute nurse check your blood pressure every day?

Past Martin: Haha, you know it!

They laugh again, but Natalie shows no sign of joining in the conversation and keeps her gaze low.

Mark: Anyway… it’s been nice seeing you after a while. I’ll… give you two some time alone. Later, dude.

Past Martin: Bye.

Mark leaves the scene.

Past Martin: [Looks at Natalie] Hi, Nat. How are you?

Natalie: I’m good, Martin. It’s nice to see you again after so long. I missed you.

Past Martin: I missed you too, Nat. You should visit more, spend more time with me. They changed the TVs in all the rooms a week before I got admitted here - [gestures to TV] look at the size of that thing! We should watch movies together sometime.

Natalie: [Awkwardly] Yeah… Martin, we need to talk. A lot of things have happened since the accident, and I don’t really think we can see each other as much anymore, you know? Look, Martin. I don’t think this is going to work.

Past Martin: What, the TV? Baby works just fine!

Natalie: No, Martin, [smiling sadly] not the TV. I mean us. Me and you. We’re not going to work. Martin… things are different now. It’s not the same.

Past Martin: What… are you talking about?

Natalie: [Deep inhale] Martin, I can’t stay in the hospital with you all the time.

Past Martin: This isn’t about change at all, is it Natalie? [furiously and confused] It’s about me… isn’t it…? It’s about my face?

Natalie: No Martin. It’s not. I just-

Past Martin: [Sarcastically] No. It’s okay. I understand. I understand perfectly!

Natalie: I’m sorry.

Natalie leaves the stage. Past Martin is heart broken. 

Present Martin: I’m beautiful, I’m beautiful.

Narrative Martin: This minor fact I know,

Past Martin: I tell you it’s incredible - Near death has made me grow: 

MARCIA & NATALIE

Present Martin is stretching in the gym, practicing for gymnastics. 

Narrative Martin is stretching in unison (he is Present Martin’s conscience in this scene)

Marcia (Martin’s friend) arrives on stage, and walks towards Present Martin. 

Natalie is outside the gym, feeling upset and regrets her decision of the break up. She is practicing how to speak to Martin, about getting back together. 

Marcia: Hey Martin! What are you doing? 

Present Martin: Oh, hey Marcia. I’m just practicing for my gymnastics class. 

Marcia: [flirty] Has anyone ever told you, that suit really flaunts your figure.

Present Martin: Umm, thanks. 

Marcia: So, I wanted to ask. Are you busy tonight? Tomorrow? This week? 

Narrative Martin (conscience) shakes his head, and gestures a signal of no to Present Martin

Present Martin: I’m sorry, I have to practice for my gymnastics tournament. 

Marcia holds Present Martin’s hand lovingly. 

Marcia: Good luck!

Natalie enters the room shocked and furious at Marcia. 

Natalie: What’s going on here? [in a furious, sharp voice]

Marcia: [pretending nothing’s wrong] What’s this all about? I was just talking to Martin. 

Natalie: Oh really? And since when did talking to Martin involve touching him?

Marcia: You don’t control his life anymore. You broke up with him remember? 

Natalie: Look, I was actually just about to - 

Marcia: All he does is talk about how heart broken he is about the break up. 

Natalie: [furiously questioning] Is this true Martin?

Narrative Martin looks shocked, and shakes his head disapprovingly.

Present Martin: What? That’s not true!

Marcia: Oh, shut up Martin. You know it was for the best, and besides she doesn’t even care about you. She just wants you to keep wallowing over this break up. 

Natalie: What!

Marcia: Oh, look at me. I’m Natalie. Just because you have a modeling career doesn’t mean you're better than anyone!

Natalie forcefully pushes Marcia. Present Martin quickly reaches to her before she falls.

Marcia: [ignorant] I’m fine Martin!

Natalie and Marcia continue arguing.

Narrative Martin (Present Martin’s conscience) can’t handle the fight anymore. 

Narrative Martin: Do something!

Present Martin pushes Marcia and Natalie away from each other.

Present Martin: Stop! Both of you. I’m done!

Present Martin walks off stage. 

Marcia: Martin wait!

Marcia follows after him.

Past Martin: Look at me, 

Narrative Martin: Smile, 

Present Martin: You are now seeing

All Martins: A great thing called a human being.

END

Final Script annotations: